Gut Punched 👊

 That's the feeling I have. Picture this , an animated character getting punched in the gut, he bends backwards at the mid section,  upper body lurches forward, arms extended forward from the impact. Frozen in time, a caricature representing the sudden realization of one's situation.  Obviously it's my self perception and feelings.  People around me would never guess I currently this way.  I don't walk around projecting poor self esteem.   I don't have low self esteem....... or do I ?  Getting ignored when applying for low level jobs is not a way to build confidence,  I can assure you.  

I was thinking about the women that was eager for me to apply.  It's her words I listened to.  I do not know if the owner is hiring. So I had my self convinced this was a walk in and get hired situation.  Duh me.  I chuckle at myself.  How was I so gullible.  Probably because it's what I wanted to hear. I like easy no hassle results for my time and effort.  After all I spent 10 minutes filling out a paper, yes paper job application and drove another 10 minutes to deliver it and meet with an unknowing Stephanie. I guess I thought she was gonna praise me for saving her from certain bankruptcy and hire me on the spot.  Washing and folding clothes folks, that's the job I applied for.  Running a shift at a self service laundromat.  I'm already a humble person,  I didn't need being brought down a notch.   Enter Gut Punch 👊 

S.M.F.H.

 That about sums it up.  👌 

 Laundromat prospect.  I didnt get a good vibe from the short meeting I had with the owner lady.  She didn't expect me or know I was applying.  I'm not even sure she's hiring.  I was led to believe there's a job opening by a lady that works there.  But her version of things doesn't seem to match with the owners  behavior today.  I don't know.  I reminded the owner, Stephanie that we had spoken a few months ago and I jokingly said I'd like to come work there. We'll she nodded and said "yes, I remember "  in a matter of fact way.  She likes to look me up and down. I noticed this the other 2 times we've spoken. I present well in street clothes. I'm a weight lifter.  Some extra around the middle but also very muscular.  She's probably in her mid 30s, kinda doubtful she finds me attractive.   Me, a 60 year old that dresses in street bum fashion basically.  

She asked if I'm currently working.  I said yes. self employed commercial crabber.  The words self employed seem to mean something bad or negative  to a potential employer.  I'll make a post later what's involved in a typical day of self employed commercial crabbing.   I told her I wanted to put crabbing on the back burner and work a steady job and keep crabbing as a side hustle .  I told her I'm available to start after labor day weekend,  but if she's in a bind I can start sooner.  I told her I have other jobs pending, night work type and I'm really not wanting to do those as 1st choice.  Insert disgruntled grunt here.  Trying to communicate with a female in any social situation is challenging but to a  female potential employer it's especially weird.  I tend to be very direct .  I guess it can be off putting to some.  

I read tea leaves very well. I pay close attention to a person's body language.  Dogs do this on humans all the time. Dogs know your next move before you do.  I practice this on people in public. From a distance I watch there head and eye movement especially.  Stephanie wasn't giving me good body language this morning.  I held my hand out to shake hands as I started to leave , she is unfamiliar with this etiquette.  I remained in place arm extended until she responded in kind.  Most women I've dealt with in positions of authority are quick to shake hands with a man.  Not Stephanie.  Not to me anyway 🤷.  The point is dear imaginary readers, I'm skeptical about this job. 

So,  onto remaining self under employed.  I can post up on mkt. place and do dump runs for people, deliver mulch, gravel etc. Sell crabs of course, until end of September anyway.  I considered going to a temporary employment service for a winter job. That is a definite possibility.  

Cheers to you,  strike number TWO ! I raise my glass of Dollar Tree cranberry juice and salute you for never letting me have an easy way to go.  For being that dog on the side of the road and raising your back leg up extra high to take that piss all over my face during my 2nd attempt at employment.   Cheers Mate. 🍻 

You're gonna work where ?

 Yep, I applied for a job at the laundromat I frequent.  I been kidding around with the lady that works there mornings when I do my laundry.  I told her I need a day job, this commercial crabbing is taking me broke. She convinced me to take a paper job application "home" to fill out. Yeah, she has no clue Im a van dweller even though I park my bad ass Roadtrek in plain view on laundry days.  

I see it like this, it's regular work and pay, it's day shift, usually 2pm to 8pm which allows me time in mornings to crab and fish.  It beats the 3rd shift at Harris Teeter I applied for and haven't heard back yet, 5 days ago.  So it's stupid easy work, customers drop off laundry , it gets weighed then washed and folded.  I think I can handle it.  So I'll drop off application tomorrow,  Sunday am and talk lady that got me to apply. I sure can deal with some regular money coming in.  I met the owner lady a few months ago.  Her and her husband just recently bought the laundromat.  I was joking with her back then about coming to work for her. She seemed open to the idea.  Soooooo all my imaginary readers, that's the big news for today. 

Motivation needed.

 Let's get this shit moving already.  I applied 2 days ago. received the auto response that stated don't call us..... we'll call you. Muah ! You fuckers should be thanking your lucky stars such a decent man applied for your job.  I really don't expect a interview,  but part of me says with today's applicant pool and the shitty 3rd shift I might actually get an interview.  That's my method, apply for jobs with high turnover and my old ass has a chance.  Fuck you society

I'm telling  myself get back into the eeling game and knock on some  more doors. I was actually getting customers that way.  between selling crabs on a small scale and eels to select customers I could do better then the take home pay of 3rd shift stocker and not have to work nights.  I get a case of the ass when I crab and don't sell all my catch. It's a lot of work involved in crabbing.  So when I hit a slump I'm quick to justify finding a easier way to earn money.    Do I want  to be a robot and work in corporate grocery store for wages and have to play the bullshit games of rules and coded every night  ? I would lime that regular pay check for sure but the night work thing ain't easy. Been there and done that when I was young. it sucked back then so it will definitely suck now. 

I need to get my focus back on commercial crabbing and fishing.  Put catfish hoopnets back in water September,  re set eel pots ASAP,  crab 4 days a week . Maybe set the 2-- 200 hook each finfish trotlines I built. Been meaning to do that.  Catfish baby. Eat some ! 

Update On Job Application.

 Completed online employment application.  A few check ✔️ marks in certain boxes seem pretty important. #1, will you submit to drug test, #2 can you work overnights, #3 something else,  weekends and holidays maybe.  So if a person is ok with drug tests and  available at these unpreferred times maybe the chances of getting hired are improved.  That would be me. I don't do drugs so I'll be selling clean piss as a side hustle 💯 .  Days or nights in this case are just days to me. I have no preference on which nights I work.  I'm old. I don't need specific days to do specific things any more.  

I really like the idea of parking my big fat van on the front lot and working overnight.  Then taking my van across the road to bike trail and either napping or getting on my bike and rolling out. It's been a minute or 2 since I rode my bike. 

I envision this schedule of leave work at 7am, park at bike trail 7:05 am.  Now the next 15 hours are mine.  Sleep must happen, bike ride would be nice and of course lift some weights a few days a week.  Fuckin van life baby !!!!  Tell me again why more people aren't doing this ? 

Job Search at age 60

 Yep.  with almost no documented employment.  hustory.That's the side of being self employed that potential employers are weary of.  Employers are also cautious about hiring a self employed person because they tend to think for themselves and avoid being micro managed.  Managers like to manage, not have a self sufficient person making decisions without running to supervisor for everything . 

Yeah well, what's my point ?  Don't really have one. Just prepping myself for not being considered for employment.  The whole process is a shit show.  I went thru it last year when I applied at BJ'S Wholesale Club.  The assessments are cring at max level. What would I do if a co worker was depressed,  what about a mass shooter entering the building,  what about a co worker with mental issues, what about a co worker stealing,  and on and on.  Yo dude. I just wanna stock the shelves. not be a head shrink and give advice to fucked up people.  Maybe I'm the one that needs the advice.  

So now I've decided to apply for 3rd shift stock at Harris Teeter which is a 5 minute drive from my base camp. It's also right across highway from the bike trail and only minutes to my gym. I consider these things a win. I'm not looking for a career or to climb the corporate ladder. I'm looking for how this job fits in with my life . It is night work. Yeah, sucks. But the good side is I'll have days to do what I want.  I would work from 10pm to 7am.  Stay awake till around 2pm then sleep 7 hours and back to work at 10pm.  So an example day off On a Wednesday would be from 7am on a Tuesday to next report to work on Thursday 10pm.  Sounds like a long weekend almost.  I really would like a regular paycheck.  I'm helping my mom out and it's digging into my savings more then I like.  I could also still crab on a part time basis which is actually better then a full-time basis.  

I'm sitting here going thru the online application process and my shit looks weak.  I'd be real curious if I read my job application from someone else's perspective.  How does this guy exist without a documented income, not much work history for a 60 year old man 🤔.  Has he been in prison his whole life ? Is he a drug dealer perhaps.  We searched our data banks and did  sneaky background checks on him and NOTHING !  Very perplexing indeed.  No income tax records available either. Hmn ! Is this guy a secret spy from corporate? No....  they'd have a transparent background established to avoid suspicion.  This is strange...... let's get him in here and meet this guy.   

Oh well.  I can always run a post on market place and do dump runs , I have a truck and did just that many years ago.  Made damn good money,  that's how I started my landscape business.  Should have stayed in junk hauling. 

  I'll be typing more words later.  I got side tracked on the work history section of job application.  I collected unemployment for a while and can't show any employment while collecting benefits.  Keep those dates from crossing over. I'm absolutely certain the unemployment office would be on me like Hitlers SS on a Jewish family out in farm country circa 1939. 

Life is Funny. Now Im funny too.

 Crabbing is an expensive hobby. I need a steady income.  I stopped by the old Dollar store and told them I'm looking. We shall see. I told the merch manager Im probably on don't not hire list since it was a debacle how I was "fired".  

Left my number and he said he'll pass it to store manager.  He said , Oh you're Ray , I've heard a LOT about you. I replied that can't be good.  It really would suck if I can't even get rehired at a shit job such as Dollar Tree.  Hahaha. If this doesn't happen it off to Harris Teets for a online application as stocker.  would probably take the plunge and try for full-time nights.  It's gotta be a shit job since it open and continuous posting. 

Crabbing commercially is a great side hustle, I need to  keep it as just that.  

Peace out all my imaginary readers.  Hopefully I'll be back to putting boxes and cans on shelves and earning some money soon.